Extra Credit Post: Squirrels & Yaz

Welcome to "The Intrepid Clemson Student's Guide to Ceasing a Squirrel's Ability to Procreate"

How about an intro...

When I was a freshman at this fine institution, I was strolling down a sidewalk that had a wall about shoulder height to my right side. I noticed a commotion out of the corner of my eye...lo and behold, my sworn enemy was staring me right in the face. And that is when the legend of 'Ballsy the Squirrel' began...

I knew that once I saw him, I had to figure out a way for this madness to stop. That is the moment when I devised this plan:

Stage 1:

• Teach squirrels the use the dark side
• Pit squirrel against squirrel so I wouldn't have to do the dirty work
• ???
• Great Success

Stage 2:

• Discovered the squirrels were more powerful than I thought
• They are able to revive each other
• Must search for another method

Stage 3:

• Develop the secret weapon
• Take the time to replace peanuts in the shell with Yaz birth control
• Scatter fake peanuts all over campus
• Allow squirrels to eat peanuts
• watch and laugh as the squirrels unknowingly disable their reproductive capability in a safe way

....They're not so innocent

SOURCES:

Squirrel with testicles -- http://www.squirreltesticles.com/?r=WR

Lightsabre Squirrels -- http://www.saysuncle.com/2006/12/26/wow-9/

Electric Squirrel -- http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Squirrel

yaz -- http://www.lawyersandsettlements.com/blog/yaz-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-01143.html

nuts -- http://marymeant.blogspot.com/2011/07/peanuts-on-plane.html

squirrel people -- http://theinspirationroom.com/daily/2008/cadbury-boost-teases-squirrels/

Squirrel Eating Nut -- http://www.joejoe.org/forum/topic/13537-lol-squirrels/